I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
