No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
