Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
