mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
pop tarts are not kleenex
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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