So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have post one night stand depression
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
