I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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