Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
What did we do last night that was yellow?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
