i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
