Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
