i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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