I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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