whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
