Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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