Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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