i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize