why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Randomize
