even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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