i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
