So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
