Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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