I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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