Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I came so hard my ears popped.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
