before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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