she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My vagina is very pro this idea
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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