FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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