I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
