Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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