So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize