your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
