You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
