I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Is Oprah even human
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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