I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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