ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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