i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Randomize
