Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
