i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize