I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize