I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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