I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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