When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
send nudes
from the living room?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize