I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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