we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
