Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize