genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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