strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize