p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
