And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize