Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Still dying that you shit outside
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
