I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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