how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize