$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
