this beer tastes like vomit already
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize