I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
