Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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