Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
