therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
