dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
