The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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