Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
