I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Don't judge me 👊🼠his dick just whispers my name
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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