I wanna passion pit in your ass
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
