why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
