I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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