I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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