I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
