Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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