oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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