Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
