You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
